1.
Affirmation works. Believe it and it will happen. If you want
something badly, write it down. For several years before I
sold my first book, I wrote these words fifteen times a day:
“I will be a published author.”
No, I
didn’t sell immediately. And yes, I had to work really
hard at writing. Just affirming what I wanted fifteen times
a day wasn’t going to do it. But putting voice to my
dream kept me focused.
How does
this help with life? If you really want something, believe
in yourself and keep working toward your goal. Will affirmations
help you win the lottery? Let’s get real. If you have
a realistic goal, for instance to retire from full time work
in five years, you can make it happen. Write your affirmations
every day, but do your research and work hard. Have faith
in yourself.
2.
Don’t listen to the so-called “experts.”
If I’d listened to all the nay-sayers I would have stopped
writing a long time ago. The “experts” said I
would never sell and should give up because: I wasn’t
finaling in writing contests; editors didn’t praise
my work; I wasn’t receiving personal rejection letters.
The only personal rejection letters I received made me cry.
It took ten long years to sell my first book. I refused to
give up and I refused to let the nay-sayers stop me.
No matter
what you want to do in life--move to a new city, start a new
career, go back to school, there are those who will tell you
that you cannot do it. “Stay where you are,” “stay
comfortable,” they’ll say. “You can’t
change careers after forty, fifty, sixty, whatever,”
they’ll tell you. Do NOT listen to them. Only you know
what you want and what you’re willing to sacrifice to
achieve your goals.
3.
Don’t burn your bridges. This is good advice
in the real and corporate world as well as the writing world.
Got another rejection? Maybe it’s a rejection from your
own publisher. Ouch! That hurts. Smile through the pain and
send that editor a thank-you note. You may want to submit
there again. Always send thank-you notes when you receive
personal rejection letters, even the mean ones. It’s
just plain good etiquette to be gracious in defeat. Editors
know each other. Don’t think they don’t talk.
Isn’t it better that they know you as a professional
and not a whiner?
Passed
over for a promotion at work? Congratulate the person who
got the job you wanted. Smile at your boss. Maybe you’ll
need to look for a new job, but don’t burn your bridges
at your old one. You never know when you might need that good
recommendation from your old boss.
4.
Don’t compare yourself to others. There will
always be those who are smarter, prettier, more successful
than you. There will always be those who are less smart, less
pretty and less successful than you. Don’t sweat it.
Just be true to yourself.
This is
a hard lesson in life and in writing. We all know those people
who seem blessed by the fates. They have beauty, brains and
money. Life is good. It’s the same with writers. We’ve
all heard of that writer who suddenly decides to write a book.
She finishes it in six months. Agents clamor to represent
her. Book goes to auction and sells for six figures. And then
there are the rest of us. We struggle for years. We endure
rejection after rejection. But we persevere and we sell.
Life lesson?—Some
are just more blessed than others. Accept that and be the
best you can in anything you attempt. Each of us has a special
talent.
5.
Karma—there is such a thing. I personally have
bad contest Karma. I never finaled in a contest before selling
my first book. See number 2 above. I did, however, have two
entries final in a contest after I sold. What did these contest
finals get me? Rejections within two weeks rather than twelve
weeks. Contests are overrated. Bad contest Karma? Not a big
deal. Accept it and go on.
Do you
have bad Karma in life? Don’t worry about it. Good Karma
is overrated. See above. If you tell yourself that you have
no control over your bad luck, you are in trouble. You do
have control over your life.
6.
“Don’t take life seriously. No one gets
out alive.” I wish I were clever enough to think of
this. I believe a rock star said this. Write for the pure
pleasure of telling stories. Don’t worry about the rejections.
I know, I know, that’s easier said than done. You tell
a story from your heart and some editor or agent or contest
judge rips it apart. Keep writing because you love it. “Do
what you love and the money will follow.” Wish I’d
said that one too.
The same
goes for life. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Hard advice at times.
Remember this: when you’re in that nursing home, you’ll
regret what you didn’t do, not what you did.
7.
Know the rules. I belong to several email loops. Apparently,
I’ve missed the memo on email etiquette. The few times
I’ve taken the plunge to post something on a loop, I’ve
been ignored. What am I doing wrong? On most loops, when new
members join, the moderator “introduces” them.
No moderator has ever introduced me. I’ve always had
to introduce myself and then I’m ignored. Please someone
send me the memo so I know what I’m doing wrong. If
I choose to ignore the rules, that’s one thing, but
I’m at a disadvantage when I don’t know I’m
making a mistake.
Life lesson?
You may choose to break the rules, but know them first. You
can get yourself into lots of trouble if you don’t first
know what’s expected of you.
8.
Publishing is a business. Repeat this fifteen times.
Sure, you’re a nice person. That has nothing to do with
anything. An editor will take your book and an agent will
represent you if they think they can make money. That is the
bottom line. Don’t take rejection personally. It has
nothing to do with you. For instance, you have a great interview
with an agent. You discuss your upcoming vacation and her
upcoming cruise. She says she loves the type stories you write.
Feeling good, you send her the requested partial. In your
cover letter you say you hope she had a wonderful vacation.
What response do you get? A mean-spirited form letter that
doesn’t include your name, her name, or the title of
your book. The final punch in your gut? The letter says you
shouldn’t darken that agency’s doorstep with one
of your manuscripts ever again. Publishing is a business.
Don’t forget that.
And life
doesn’t always give you warm fuzzies either. Pick yourself
up, know you are okay, and go on. Be true to yourself and
kind to others. That’s what’s important.
9.
NEVER GIVE UP. If you want it, go for it. Have faith
in yourself. Don’t despair. See number 6 above. Enjoy.
10.
NEVER GIVE UP. See 9 above.
